The day Don and I were married no one could have convinced us we could be any more in love than we were that day! However, after 37 years of marriage we both know love can deepen or it can fade. We have experienced both, and we have chosen the path of deepening our love.

It didn’t happen overnight, and at times it took hard work!

One of those times, was six months into our marriage. It was a lonely and scary season, and it felt as if we were adrift at sea with no compass to guide us. Thankfully, at that time we were scheduled to take a group of college kids to a campus ministry retreat, where (unbeknown to us) the speaker’s topic for the weekend was “Relationships”. Not only did his presentation include humorous anecdotes regarding the difficulty of communication in marriage, but it also brought much-needed answers!

One resource mentioned by the speaker was a book titled “To Understand Each Other” by Paul Tournier. This concise book opened our eyes and our hearts to the amazing dynamics of communication. Tournier’s  challenge was to be courageous enough to share our true selves with one another, and as a result come to a deeper understanding of the person God brought to us in marriage.

As we worked to apply the concepts in the book we began to move past our fears and share our deepest thoughts. The author was right —it definitely took courage to remove our self-protective shields and care more about understanding each other than being understood. It was a process that took time and caring. But it also brought incredible transformation! Our communication deepened, our acceptance of one another flowed more easily and our enjoyment of each other became a delight! We fell more deeply in love!

Today, as I look back at that season, I clearly see God’s love and faithfulness in a myriad of ways:

His timing for us to attend the retreat at the height of our difficulty.

His words spoken through a gifted retreat speaker.

His concepts conveyed through Paul Tournier’s writings, and most of all

His amazing grace that empowered us to make a lasting commitment to live every day with the desire

“to understand each other!”

“And Mary treasured all these things in her heart.”

I love how this verse clearly says she treasured “all” these things!

I believe from the moment the angel told her she would carry the Son of God in her womb, Mary began to treasure every moment she shared with this child. Although Mary’s situation was one-of-a-kind, I truly believe most mothers experience this kind of “treasuring”.

When our children and their families gather at our home for the holidays, it’s a crazy, wonderful time! The house is filled with grandchildren flitting from room to room, pets stalking each other, and our adult children laughing and joking together. I may be in the kitchen preparing a meal, but my heart is attuned to the good-natured banter going on around me! It’s in these moments, unknown by anyone around me, that I silently open my hidden “treasure chest” and tuck away these beautiful and real moments!

In this niche in my heart I have stored things as simple as the sound of a granddaughter’s laughter as she watched a squirrel race up a tree, a special conversation with a daughter-in-law, or a kiss on the forehead of my grown son before I went to bed! Though the moments weren’t big, they were stashed into this private treasure trove!

Here are just a few “moments” from this Thanksgiving weekend:

*For our Thanksgiving meal this year I set three tables, but the kids and grandkids decided on their own to crowd around one table, because they didn’t want to be in separate rooms. Every time I looked at them smooshed together as they ate and shared what they were thankful for, the treasuring ensued.

*Our traditional trip to Santa’s Woods to pick out our Christmas tree, was made special by it being our new daughter-in-law’s first time to go with us! The boys always take a football and play catch in the open spaces or hide-n-seek with the little ones among the trees. As soon as I hear their laughter ring out through the field, the treasure chest opens and in goes the moment!

Our oldest son, Dan and his family usually travel back home on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. This year our son, Drew and his wife Kate came over early to make breakfast (as a surprise) for the family and to have a little more time with Dan and his family. Around the table our noisy, jammie-clad clan, enjoyed yummy peanut butter french toast and cinnamon pancakes…..and…

…..yes….I treasured ALL these things in my heart!

The night before our son Drew’s, wedding, after the rehearsal dinner, we gathered as a family just to relax and have fun together! Paul brought a “drum box” and everyone, including the grandkids, had to take turns while our oldest son, Dan, played song after song. These videos are just a glimpse into our “fun” evening.

They came into my possession after my mom and dad had both passed away, and had been sitting on my desk for almost 2 years. I sat down, took them out of their ivory-colored, faded post-marked envelopes and gently opened each one. The sight of his handwriting pulled on my heart and the words on the pages told his story, thereby revealing some facets of him I had never known, yet others I had experienced and now understood with clarity.

The earliest letters dated 1942 and revealed a homesick young man learning the ropes of his responsibilities and duties, with the hope of remaining stateside during World War II. He included detailed descriptions of his life on base and sad commentaries about pilots he had been training who crashed their planes. However, the underlying theme was his love and care for his younger siblings and parents back home. In one of his first letters he stated, “I know more than ever that a fellow never appreciates a home or anything as he should until he has to leave and can’t get leave when he wants to.”

The fifth oldest of twelve children, he often wrote about sending major portions of his pay check home. With force he stated his next check was to be used for the little girls snow suits or clothing items they might need. When he learned he wouldn’t be home for Christmas in ’42, he wrote, “I’m also writing Lois (his older sister) and going to have her send you that money for Christmas presents, and by God don’t use it for anything else. Cause I want all of you that are home to have some kind of present from me. I’m also going to have her get the dolls for the kids out of the money that she has of mine.” He asked only for underwear and warm socks for himself that year.

At one point he revealed his deep concern for his little sisters who had contracted the measles. He scolded his mom for not writing, while at the same time expressed understanding of how busy she must be. The following letter found him apologizing and admitting his anger was born out of his deep concern for his “little girls”.

In later letters he often mentioned his desire to come home on furlough, his longing to see them (especially his little sisters), his love for each one, and his concern for his three brothers also serving in the war. He wrote to all three regularly and expected replies from them. If he hadn’t heard from them in quite some time his letter carried a fearful tone to it. He noted that one brother had written trying to let him know where he was stationed, but the information had been scribbled over and was not legible. The military hadn’t allowed his brother to disclose to his family his overseas location.

While awaiting orders of where he would be stationed permanently, he said, “And don’t worry about me cause no matter where I go I’ll be ok.” When at last he received orders, he found he would be stationed stateside as a flight instructor for the B-24 bombers heading to Germany.

While reading through these “treasures”, the core values of my dad’s heart rose from the pages like mountain peaks on a clear day. Deep love for his family, expressed through his yearning to be home with them, and his continual commitment to sacrificially provide monetarily, were his top priorities throughout the entire tenure of his three-year service. His commitment to serve and do his job thoroughly and with excellence poured from the now-yellowed pages.

Once finished I returned the letters to their envelopes and found myself with strong feelings of deep respect and honor for this devoted young man who later became my father. I considered how my siblings and I each have some resemblance of him in our physical features, and how my exposure to his letters now revealed how deeply he had shaped the features of our hearts to carry the values he had lived!

When he was a young man writing home to his mom and family, he never would have dreamed that 67 years later, his words would reveal to me the core values of his life and that his life, lived by those values, impacted my life and the lives of my children and grandchildren! I am grateful to have been given the treasure of these letters, but more importantly, to have received the treasure of his life!

at sunset

a big red barn

dear friends

precious family

guitar music floating on the breeze

prayer

vows

the presence of God

our son Drew

the love of his life, Kate

their “sweetest day”

You may kiss your bride!

Congratulations Drew & Kate!

Sunday mornings have become special for me as I observe the children in our church gather and dance to the praise songs.  Watching them I often see a glimpse of who they will become… (more…)

I know some of you reading this blog can’t remember a time when the TV didn’t have a remote control, but I certainly can. Actually, I think my parents thought I was intended to be the remote control for their TV! When the “remote” came on the scene, my parents were older and the technology of it baffled them.  I remember my husband’s parents deciding not to program the remote to their VCR because it was too hard for them to figure out. (I’m hoping most of you remember what a VCR was.) My husband would patiently program their remote to the stations they received, only to return to their home at a later date and find the remote unused and the programing undone again.

It was during one of Don’s conversations with his parents (he was trying to explain how simple the remote really was, and they were sure it was something they could do without), that I decided I was NEVER going to NOT learn new technology. Then along came computers and digital cameras and email and….ipads……ipods……all the amazing technology we have today. And with each new piece of technology I have been DETERMINED to learn and NEVER give up!

Now, this is a great attitude to have, don’t you think? Never give up! Be determined! Learn new things! Well, unfortunately, for my oldest son, my determination has meant a great deal of his time spent in explanations, team-viewer sessions, laughter over my “dumb” mistakes and my lack of comprehension. I guess you could say, he’s become “my remote”! But, I have to say, Dan’s low-key temperament has been a great blessing when I have had to turn to him for one of my many computer or blog dilemmas.

Even with his laid back personality, I am certain my determination to keep learning in this crazy technological age, has most likely become somewhat of a headache. Want to know how I know? Just last evening I chatted with him about a problem I was having regarding my blog. His response was to send me the following email:

Hi Mom,

I’m really jazzed that you’ve been using your computer these days.

It just so happens that I put together this tech support care package for you. I picked out some videos that you can watch to learn:

Love,
Dan

I think my personal tech guy just retired and turned me over to technology! Thanks Dan! I love you anyway! Take 3 aspirin and I’ll call you in the morning!

Love, your tech-savvy mom!