Holly & Katie! Great friends!

Smiles and laughter!

Sometimes tears and sadness,

Love covers.

Each one celebrated.

Teenagers and elementary students together.

No peer pressure

Playing Hide ‘n Seek

Backyard Hide/n Seek

Prayers for friends in crisis.

Answered prayers.

Worship to our Jesus who is Good!

Teenage leaders!

Disciples in the making.

Austin, Sara & Julia leading worship on Honor's Night

Friendship with fellow teachers.

Birthday’s celebrated.

Hugs and more hugs!

Brooke, Jared & Sara

Songs created.

Little dancing girls.

Spring classes outside.

Lessons learned.

Grace for the hard days.

Silliness and pranks.

Austin! LOL!

Fun!

Holly

Sum it all up and it = LOVE!

Dave & Beth

Pat & Theresa

Have you ever experienced a moment when you were in the midst of a rather routine happening, yet you realized it was more significant than it would appear to anyone standing outside and looking in? Let me explain…

Over the past couple years, my husband and I have been privileged to host several couples in our home over a handful of days. Each pastor and wife came with expectant hearts! As a group, we were acutely aware of our need for the Lord’s refreshing and healing. We gathered as friends to spend time with God and one another.

We talked, listened, prayed, wept and found healing together. Through our openness we discovered the uniqueness of each individual, and we grew in our appreciation of our differences, likenesses, weaknesses and strengths. As a result of this kind of vulnerability, we knew God had indelibly linked our hearts together!

Following one of these remarkable sessions, I found myself seated beside two dear women as we took  some time out to simply talk, laugh and copy recipes. Suddenly, their laughter became like background noise, and I felt as if I had stepped outside the moment and was watching it occur. In that instant a powerful awareness of my two friends’ love and acceptance of me, swept through my emotions and made a direct hit in my heart! It took my breath away as I fully realized what true and faithful friends these women were to me, and how honestly they loved me regardless of my weaknesses and shortcomings. In that moment we weren’t doing anything exciting or important. We were just being ….. friends. I felt safe. Understood. Accepted. Healed! It completely overwhelmed me! And changed me!

This incredible experience revealed to me a very simple truth regarding friends:

“…the sweetest friendships of all are the unlikeliest, for they are founded in something even more precious than delight. They are founded on nothing less than the complete and perfect acceptance of one by another.” (Larkrise to Candleford)

While it was amazing for me to know the love of my friends that day, it also left me with a very deep desire to exhibit love and acceptance to the friends God has brought and will bring into my life, in order that together we might experience…. the sweetest friendships!

This is the kind of friend I desire to be! How about you?

Selah

Dave & Karen

Randy & Mary

Kathy & Wendell

Not all these couples were with us during those days of meetings in our home. However, I consider them “some of the sweetest friendships!”

Though referred to fondly as The Farm, it was anything but.

At one time it had been a true farm and the home of my great grandfather’s extended family, then became my mother’s childhood home.  Recalling the tales which occurred at this dear place have turned many family gatherings into the reminiscing of hilarious childhood tales, accompanied by exuberant laughter.  The Farm wasn’t magical in itself, but it’s enchantment lingers, due to the childhood antics, the friends who shared it with us, and the warmth of family love we experienced there.

Located only a few miles from my hometown, it was our “summer get-away” — a step back in time — complete with an outhouse, a hand pump for water, kerosene lamps, a wood-burning cook stove, a pot-bellied wood heater and a real “ice” box.  In later years we added the wonder of propane, and graduated to a gas stove and refrigerator.

The farmhouse itself consisted of three small houses connected into one.  It’s outward appearance was quite dull with its rough, gray stucco covering and white trimmed windows.  The rooms  inside smelled exactly as they were … old.  The walls held faded wallpaper which hung loosely near the ceiling, while worn linoleum covered the tired, creaking floors below — a different color in each room.  The windows, with their peeling  paint, were propped open by sticks from the thickly wooded grove of elm trees which encircled the house.  Three entryways touted rectangular concrete porches and warmly welcomed us into this retreat.  Two of the three stood level with the ground. However, on one end of the house the porch rose to almost six inches above the ground.  This particular porch is etched in my memory due to…. well, that’s a  story for another post.

Situated in the yard, beneath a canopy of  elms, could be seen a few lawn chairs, a blanket, a telescope, a tent, a well-used fire pit, a badminton net and a croquet game set up and ready to go.  Beside the lane, suspended between four trees, was a tree house built by my brother and me; and several feet away from it were multiple gigantic holes in the ground, covered by branches and leaves.  These camouflage ” dug-outs” were built by my little brother Larry, and were, in his mind, “army foxholes”.  Straight into the grove of trees, approximately forty yards away, were the ruins of the ancient barn, and parallel to it was the still-existing-with-no-purpose corn crib.  These old haunts are the sets of many scenes etched permanently into my mind… a summer-land of make-believe where it seemed as if time stood still.

Our holidays to this rustic, run down farm, deeply knit my family together, breathed life into our souls, and afforded us adventures written indelibly on our hearts.   There, before life dealt us turbulent waters, we were together…. happily together …. as family!

To be continued . . .

In a world where famous people are interviewed on every major television channel, and their faces are plastered on the front of multiple magazine covers, there remains a mystique about them.  It’s as if they are unreal — and somehow it causes us who stand outside looking in at their lives, to crave insight into the inner workings of theirs.

So, when walking in Oxford, UK,  our British friends pointed out The Eagle and Child, fondly nicknamed The Bird and Baby and told us it was the pub where J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis met and discussed their ideas and writings, I instantly began picturing their times together inside the pub.  I  imagined them seated together, sharing their outside-the-box ideas, while the people around them had no hint of the far-reaching destiny these two men would have through their writings.

I envisioned the two of them talking quietly at a table away from the rest of the crowd because these moments were treasured times together.  Kindred spirits unveiling their hearts, encouraging each other in their endeavors, and perhaps enthusiastically reading each others manuscripts.  I later learned they gathered with a group of writers called the Inklings, to discuss their writing ideas together.  (So much for the table away from the crowd.)

It was then I wished someone had interviewed them or snapped a picture of them there in the pub.  Because of their writings (and now their screen plays), part of me felt as if I knew a part of them and caused me to want to know more. I longed to talk to them now and ask them what they talked about when they met.  Or what it meant to have each other and if it changed the way they thought or the confidence it took to put on paper their imaginary worlds portraying powerful dynamic truths.

While pondering this my mind flashed back to when our new English friends, Geoff and Mary sat with Don and me in a coffee shop in Whitney, UK and our hearts knit together as we talked for hours about our shared passions.  It was then I answered my own questions. . .  When Tolkien and Lewis met at the local pub, they were simply people like us, on a journey with God. And along the way, they found friends who understood their hearts, cheered them on as they took brave, new steps and celebrated with them in whatever their yet-to-be-seen-futures held.

So — when seeking to know the inner lives of those people we deem unreal, perhaps we need only look at our own journey, and upon reflection we will probably find the answers to the questions we are asking!

Our journey now includes these awesome kindred friends Geoff and Mary from the UK!

“His name is “Jello”, my sister (the principal)  said to the students at the end of chapel a few weeks ago.  “So you can get your giggles out now, but when he comes to be with us, there won’t be any teasing or giggling about his name.”

And there hasn’t been.  He left Port au Prince, Haiti and arrived at our school about three weeks ago — and his name — though pronounced jello is spelled Djelot.  He likes to be called DJ.   Due to the media coverage regarding the horrors in the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti, our school kids (& the teachers) are in awe of this upbeat, sweet-spirited young man who has come to be with us for a short period of time. His parents brought him here to be in the care of their dear friends in the U.S.  while things in Haiti get sorted out.

When we asked Djelot about the earthquake and what he experienced, he shared how his dad decided not to stop at the Market to get him a special drink he wanted after school.  No one in the Market survived the earthquake that fateful day.  Needless to say, he’s very grateful his Dad said no to his desire to stop for a special treat!

DJ’s parents are the overseers of an orphanage in Haiti.   After the quake the orphanage was the only building to remain standing in their area.  They know it is a miracle the children and staff were all unharmed, and that the building didn’t fall on them.  Though it still stands, the aftershocks bring fear of collapse.   This fear forced his parents, staff and children to live in nearby tents.   These living conditions, along with rising temperatures, the infestation of rats, criminals on the loose (due to the collapse of prisons), and spreading disease, are the reasons Djelot’s parents made the decision to bring him here while they return to care for the orphans.

My heart is grateful to God for bringing this precious boy into our lives for a few short weeks.  He helps me to remember those who are still suffering in Haiti, and hopefully by helping him we are in some small way touching his nation.   Through him I see the grace of God and the resilience of the human heart to face unimaginable, horrific circumstances and come out on the other side grateful!

Gotta love that face!! Last week we showed him the wonders of roasting marshmallows and eating s’mores!  With marshmallow all over his face, and a beaming smile, he said with his accent, “I LOVE the marshmallow”!

The other day I wrote a letter.  Well, actually it was several letters taken from one primary concept.

“Honor your past” was a phrase Don & I repeatedly heard while in England attending a leadership conference this past February.  When spoken (several times, by various speakers), it was one of those phrases that slipped deeply into our hearts and required us to take notice and respond.

My amazing husband knew immediately what God was asking him to do.  So his obedience took place fairly soon after we arrived back in the States.  He wrote letters of honor to significant people with whom he had served in a specific denomination.  I on the other hand — being a ponderer –  needed time to think and pray about what, if anything, God wanted me to do.  So I pondered!  For two more months!

One day, after those months of consideration, I was outside walking and praying (something I love to do), and it seemed as if God used the brilliant sunlit day to bring His light into my heart.  Suddenly I KNEW what He was after!  Immediately I sat down and wrote letters honoring people from my past.  People who had played an important part in my life and with whom I had hit some very difficult times.  Unfortunately, those difficult times resulted in our relationships being severed.

As I wrote the letters, my mind was filled with memories of all the special moments we had shared.   I found myself with deep feelings of love and sincerity regarding how precious those times were to me then and what they meant to me now.  My heart became invaded with honor for these “old friends” — for who they were back then, as well as the amazing people they had become. A great release overwhelmed me as I finished the letters!  My heart felt as if a cage door had opened and I had stepped out into a vast expanse!  The strange thing was — I hadn’t known my heart had been caged!  But God did!

The Bible says to “Give honor to whom honor is due.”  However, I am certain this command is impossible without God’s help.  For it was definitely God who filled my heart with honor, helped me express it in words to some very wonderful people, and then brought  incredible freedom and release to my own heart.

So today I give ALL HONOR to my wonderful Lord and Savior Jesus Christ — to Him it is due!

Selah!

In the last few years reading books and articles regarding friendship has become a pastime of mine. My primary reason for this is because I desire to be a good friend. However, I must admit that having lost several friendships over the years has caused me to place a great deal of importance on understanding and changing my failures in this area. It seems as I grow older the greater value I place on friendships that have endured the ups and downs of life. I desire to know how they survived and flourished! So when I stumbled across a book called Fabulous Friendship Festival by SARK I couldn’t resist purchasing it just in case it held some of the solutions I had been seeking. The author is a woman close to my age who seems a bit eccentric, but who has faced relationship struggles and come through them having learned some very profound lessons.

Upon cracking open the first few pages of this book, I was surprised when I read her first premise. She believes everyone needs to be a good friend to themselves in order to be a better friend to others. Intrigued by this concept, I read on until one of her statements brought me up short. She said, “We often grant to other friends what we won’t grant to ourselves. And, whatever we don’t accept in a friend is usually what we don’t accept in ourselves.”

Immediately a scripture came to mind . . . “love your neighbor as yourself” Mt. 22:39. Could it be that how I love myself — or not love myself — literally affects how I love my neighbor or not love my neighbor? If I don’t forgive myself does it affect my ability to forgive my friends? If I don’t accept their flaws, is it because I expect myself to be perfect and project expectations of perfection onto them? These questions flooded my mind, but one overshadowed them all. Wouldn’t loving myself be equated with being self-centered or selfish?

The dictionary defines selfish as “only caring about ones own needs; concerned primarily with ones own interest, benefits and welfare”. But what if loving myself was simply granting myself forgiveness whenever I believed I’d fallen short in some aspect of my life? Or not berating myself in my mind when I felt as though I had not said or done the right thing in any given situation? Perhaps it could simply be treating myself more kindly in moments when I want to be mad at myself, or laughing at my mistakes rather than trying harder to be perfect.

At this point in my mental debate an impression crashed into my thinking — try it — do what the book of James advises, “be a doer of the word and not a hearer only.” Try consciously loving myself and see what happens in my relationships with my friends? If it causes me to become more self-centered, then abandon the idea but keep looking for answers to becoming a better friend.

For a couple weeks now I’ve been exploring this concept, while endeavoring to guard against becoming self-centered. I started doing the previously mentioned ideas . . . forgiving myself, not placing impossible expectations on myself every day, being kind in my thinking towards myself, and laughing at myself when I made a mess of things.

In a very short time I found a greater sense of joy, along with being more verbally expressive of my gratitude toward others. New ideas regarding encouraging and strengthening my family and friends filled my mind. Actions followed and I began reaching out in new ways to others. It seemed light had permeated my soul and I had moved beyond my designated comfort zones in my relationships. What I granted myself I was now granting to my friends and what I was learning to accept about myself resulted in a greater acceptance of them.

Today I am very aware that my inner privacy fence has been being dismantled and I have stepped out into uncharted places. I can say from my heart . . . I am learning to love myself not because I want to be self indulgent, but because I want to be a good friend. Overall, this step feels right, so I’m pursuing it. Only time will reveal if this pursuit will bear long-lasting, enduring friendships.

Has anyone else tried this? Have you been taught to live and love this way — or not? Do you see it working in your friendships today? I want to learn! Your insights or opposition to the idea are welcome.