I discovered this old yellow notebook with the words Family Mtgs. scrawled near the top. Upon seeing it, my heart warmed and a smile appeared, as memories of days-gone-by flooded my mind. Opening the notebook to the first page I discovered the following information:

Family Meeting – June 28, 1992

President – Dad & Paul

V. President – Daniel

Secretary – Mom & Steph

Police Officer – Drew

I laughed out loud at that last line…Police Office – Drew. Being the youngest, he was the typical clown when it came to family times together. As family meetings evolved, we created a position where he had some responsibility over the others. It was our ploy to keep him “in check” throughout the meeting.  What’s more… it worked!! He really believed he had authority to “enforce” quietness when needed, or cheering when called for. (I kind of think he still believes this.) At one meeting he arrived toting handcuffs….. just in case he needed them to enforce the rules!

The idea of having Offices like President and V. President happened accidentally at one of our first meetings. We called the children together and told them we were having a family meeting … and they weren’t in trouble. Some one of them asked, “Oh are we electing offices like President, Secretary…… and…. so we did! They loved it and so did we!

In 1992 our son Dan would have been 15 years old, our daughter Steph, 12, Paul 10 and our youngest, Drew, would have been 6 1/2. We started holding family meetings in order to involve the kids in the process of decision-making on things like vacations, chore distribution, family night activities and fund-raising for some of the extra-curricular activities we wanted to do as a family.

At this (recorded) meeting, we opened in prayer and discussed the summer schedule in regard to morning wake-up times, family breakfasts (which included “older” child-led devotions), summer bedtime schedules, and new chore assignments due to summer’s arrival. This particular meeting seemed focused on what we wanted to do as a family on the 4th of July.  There were many ideas offered with an agreeable decision made by the end of the meeting.

I don’t know how long we continued family meetings as our schedules grew busier and the kids grew older, but I do know they served to knit us together in purpose and direction. They helped us learn to discuss ideas in a respectful manner, without arguments (or else the police officer might haul you off to jail). We worked together on a family garage sale to raise money for one of the kids’ programs at our church, we decided as a family where we wanted to go on vacation that summer, we held each other accountable to various age-appropriate responsibilities. And we had fun together!

There are only a few of the meetings recorded in my yellow notebook, but they serve as a great reminder… that our life lived together …. really worked!

Me & "My Guy" on the golf course with our sons.

That’s “my guy” in the picture above!

What the picture doesn’t show is how big his heart really is!

For example: Many mornings, Don and I have coffee together before we leave for our jobs. We thoroughly enjoy this time as we laugh and talk together. However, on more than one occasion I have seen his eyes suddenly fill with tears during our interaction. I no longer ask him if something’s wrong, for I have learned over the years, that his big heart has simply become overwhelmed with a great sense of love for me. In that moment I recognize the treasure I have been given!

His children have never had to wonder if he loved them. He told them every day of their lives — and probably more than once each day — and he’s shown it through his deep commitment to each one of them. He’s been their biggest fan, cheerleader and coach rolled into one!

His grandchildren… they know he loves them. For as soon as they were able to talk, they began calling for “Papa”. He has often told me he wants each grandchild to be able to feel how much he loves them! And believe me, they have no doubt about his love … it oozes out of him and into them.  When our granddaughter Rhythm visits, she can almost always be found right by his side (as seen in the pics below).

March 5th he turns sixty years old, and I love him so much more than when I fell in love with him thirty seven years ago. When we married I never dreamed we would have so much fun together, nor that we would face the trauma of losing a premature baby boy and later, the loss of our premature granddaughter. These and many other trials, as well as a multitude of enjoyable experiences, only served to draw us closer and deepen our love for each other and for the Lord.

Today I celebrate you, Don! What daily joy you bring to my life and what a gift  from God you are!

Happy Birthday to “My Guy” and the love of my life!

Rhythm standing on her little red chair so she can be where Papa is.

See Papa, I'm going to sit here close to you and watch you put the dishes in the dishwasher!

Papa reading to sweet Macy & Rhythie! They love their Papa!

The temperatures were sub-zero as the movers brought boxes into our new apartment. My almost-three-year old little boy was very sick, my little girl was celebrating her fifth birthday without her best friends, my oldest son was starting second grade in a new school, and my husband was planting a church in this new city! Change was swarming around us at every turn.

This month marks twenty six years since we arrived here to start a church. We came with more hope than training, but our hearts held a big vision for the new church we were to plant and for our city. Shortly after we arrived, my husband was driving home and came to a routine stop at a nearby STOP sign. In an instant he heard God speak to his heart. He said, “I’ve called you here.” Don responded, “I know Lord, that’s why I moved here.” Again, he heard the Lord, very emphatically say, “I’ve called you here!”

Six months later, the “stop sign” encounter was the deciding factor as to whether we would walk away from what we had started or remain.  That prior “moment with God” held us in place through some extremely turbulent days…….had it not occurred, we would have packed up our family (now expecting another little one) and headed back across the state to the people we knew loved us.  Although it felt as if our world was crashing around us, it was evident we had no other choice but to remain and persevere! Knowing He called us here was the rock we stood on throughout the tumultuous storm — and has been the rock we have continued to stand on throughout every trial we have faced in the last twenty six years.

Looking back from this vantage point, it’s very easy to see why God grabbed my husband’s attention that day.

He knew we would need this “confirmation of His call”  in the years to come.

He cared enough to speak louder than the distractions of this world.

He loved us enough to meet Don on a normal-every-day drive!

We sometimes drive by the stop sign and remember its significance as a starting place with God, on a cold February day in a lonely city. Upon seeing it recently I suddenly realized — the sign where God “stopped” Don also became the marker of our destiny!

Stephanie Cheri' White

I had cut and pasted hand-made Valentine’s throughout Valentine’s Day. My two-and-a-half-year-old son, Dan had diligently helped me with every one of the Valentines, and we were excited to deliver them! However, it had started snowing heavily,  so we decided to wait until after dinner. Then Daddy would drive us to each one of Dan’s little friends’ homes so he could deliver his Valentines.

After we were in the car, Don decided to take a shovel along. I thought he was taking it in case we got stuck along the way. He had other plans! At each home, Dan and I would take the Valentines in to his friends and visit a while. Don would remain outside delivering his own special Valentine –  a shoveled sidewalk for each of the families we visited. I don’t remember how many places we went that night, but the snow was heavy and it was no easy task to shovel one sidewalk, much less many.

All through our Valentine deliveries (and actually through the entire day), my body was strongly notifying me that we were probably going to have our own special delivery very soon. After arriving back at our home and getting Dan to bed, it became evident I was definitely in labor. We called my sister to come over and headed to the hospital.

After we had checked  in, the effects of Don’s sidewalk shoveling became evident. He nestled into the chair beside my bed and promptly fell asleep! This was NOT how I had envisioned my labor! Evvvveeer so000 slowly I came to realize what a servant he had been all evening, and that it was okay for him to sleep through this early part of labor. I would need him recovered and fully awake when it was time to deliver! So… he snored and I relaxed and did my deep-breathing!

As it turned out, it was good he slept through (some of) the night, because our precious little girl didn’t make her appearance until almost noon the next day. She arrived touting a full head of long, dark-brown hair and looking around with great big eyes.  Of course like all parents, we knew she was absolutely beautiful!

Earlier in the month, I had been declaring to everyone I was going to have a Valentine’s Day baby. We came very close. We weren’t the least bit disappointed she didn’t arrive on Valentine’s Day! We were simply delighted that God had given us a beautiful baby girl and had given Dan a precious little sister.

We called her…. Our Special “Day-After-Valentine’s Day” Gift!  And she still is!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Stephanie Cheri’ White!   We are so thankful for you!

Your life makes a difference!

The Day of Love is fast approaching, and with it comes the celebration of relationships. Cards, flowers, chocolates, and all manner of gifts are given in an effort to demonstrate our love for one another.  Don and I celebrate this day with many of those same things, but we try to take time to remember the good changes we have seen throughout our thirty-seven (almost) years together.

One significant transformation we often mention, took place in my own heart and extended over a number of years.

When we began our married life, I was a very negative person. (I think I must have hidden this while we were dating) In order to remedy this problem, my (amazingly positive) husband wouldn’t allow me to be negative about myself. If I put myself down, he would say, “You have to take it back. I won’t allow you to talk that way about the woman I love.”

In some ways, it was a game we played, but I was the only one receiving the penalties! If it had been a board game,  I would have had to go to jail or not pass GO numerous times throughout the day while he easily breezed around the board. I simply viewed life through a dark lens. But, the man (God had given me) wouldn’t let me keep my lenses. His continual game began to work it’s way into my heart.  And then one day, someone told us a story…. about a pessimist and an optimist ….. and somehow, this silly story made ME want to change …. for good!

THE Story:

There once was a family with two little boys. One was a horrible pessimistic, while the other was an extreme optimist.  Their parents believed each of the boys needed to come into a more balanced attitude.

With this goal in mind the parents devised a brilliant plan. They purchased beautiful new toys for the pessimist and placed them in his room while he was sleeping.  For the optimist they left a pile of horse manure.  They believed that upon waking to find these gifts each boy would be unable to remain in their current state of mind.  Surely the pessimist would see something good in his lovely new toys.  And of course, there was no possible way the optimist would be able to see any good in a smelly pile of horse manure.

As morning dawned, the parents crept to the door of their little pessimists’ bedroom.  Peeking through the door they saw him tossing one toy after another and remarking in a negative tone of voice, “This one’s the wrong color.” “This one is ugly….”  They sadly closed the door, shook their heads and tiptoed to the optimist’s room.  Certain this son would be cured they quietly opened his door.  To their amazement, he was frantically digging through the horse manure shouting, “THERE’S GOTTA BE A PONY IN HERE SOMEWHERE!!!!?

That story slapped me in the face! I realized I wanted to be the little boy looking for the pony in the manure pile! I wanted to view life through a bright and cheery lens. At some point after hearing this story I began to choose to think positively. It wasn’t easy, it took many years, and without God’s help and my husband’s game, I probably couldn’t have done it! But, I did! And I’m “oh-so-glad” I did!

This Valentine’s Day, we’ll talk of our life together, recount our blessings and together we’ll choose again to “keep looking for ponies”!

This is my older brother Dan. He was a great guy! He passed away when he was 22 yrs. old. His passing changed my life dramatically!

Some defining moments are gradual, bringing change little by little.  Like when we noticed subtle changes in our emotions and bodies as we entered puberty.  We didn’t become adults overnight. It took time. Yet, that season of change marked us, and whether we like to admit it or not, some of the ways we define ourselves today were shaped during those critical years.

Other defining moments crash suddenly into our ordinary lives and substantially alter the way we see and live life.  On a September afternoon in 1971, one of those moments occurred and changed my world forever!

On that autumn afternoon, my 22 year old brother Dan was driving home from college when he failed to heed the warning lights at a railroad crossing in rural Nebraska.  As a result, he slammed into the second car of the train as it crossed the road in front of him. He was hospitalized and the first prognosis was very hopeful.  However, he suddenly passed away two days later from an undetected brain hemorrhage.  His death turned my world upside down, devastated our family and my heart! Yet out of this trauma certain old patterns of life were replaced by sincere, heartfelt actions. His death brought decisions and definition regarding how I treated those I loved.

Here are a few of the outcomes:

I try hard not to take the people I love for granted. Today they are here with me, so I try to let them know I’m glad they are.

I savor the moments when we are together! When my family and friends gather, I sometimes drop out of the conversation so I can relish the moment, listen to their laughter and watch their interactions. Life really is a vapor.

I don’t assume they know I love them… I tell them I do. Our family didn’t do this well…. until after Dan was gone. This lesson was learned the hard way.

I try to always say “Good bye”, even if they’re simply going to the store. After a weekend at home Dan headed back to college and I waved at him as he drove down our street — I assumed he would come home the next weekend.  He didn’t.  I hadn’t said good bye. Good byes are very important to me!

Today I can look back and know my brother’s sudden death brought introspection and change to certain aspects of my life.  I am truly grateful for the good that rose out of the depth of our loss!

Are there defining moments — whether gradual or sudden –  in your lives that have resulted in changes for the better?  Please share them here!  I’d love to hear them!

I love the word now. Every time we say now, it’s “now“.  Get it?  Just say it a few times and think about it being now when saying it.  It’s always now! Along with now, I love the word today.  For almost the same reason… it’s always today! It’s never tomorrow, or yesterday, but ALWAYS today!

Many years ago, a pastor from Sri Lanka spoke at our church.   His message consisted primarily of two phrases.  He said, “Today is the day and now is the time!”  He had taken the idea from a scripture found in 2Cor. 6:2

“For He says, ‘In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.’  ‘I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.”

Several years prior to hearing this message, my life had taken a very dramatic turn.  Don and I and our two small children had moved 16 months earlier to assume an Associate Pastor’s position in western Nebraska.  I was starting the fifth month of my third pregnancy and carrying twins.  Problems with the twins and early labor had put me on bed-rest.  It was near the end of January with a due date in late May.  I was upset!

We hired a sweet elderly lady to “nanny” the kids during the day while I stayed in my bed.  I would hear my little boy and girl playing downstairs, or struggling to get along with each other, and tears would stream down my face.  This was not the plan I had in mind when I learned I was carrying twins.  For the first week, I could not even think about being in bed all day, every day for the next four months.  Just the thought of it caused me to feel anxious and overwrought or to weep inconsolably.

One morning while reading my Bible I decided to read the section in Matthew where Jesus teaches about not worrying.  I knew the verses, but also knew I needed to read them again and take them to heart.  The latter part of Matthew 6 helped me turn my thoughts toward Jesus, but it was the very last verse that jumped off the page and into my heart.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

I got it!  Suddenly, I understood exactly HOW I could make it through the next four months.  I only had to focus on today!  Today, I could pull my kids into my bed and read to them, watch t.v. or play games with them.  Today, I could open my newspaper or my church directory and pray for the people in  my church and community.  Today I could read and study my bible, so I could encourage others who came by to see me.

Today, I could decide to ask anyone who came to see me what their greatest prayer concern was — because I needed  to pray for others rather than focus on my problem pregnancy.  (That question alone, led to some of the deepest conversations and most wonderful prayer times with others!)

So on the day Pastor Colton, from Sri Lanka stated, “Today is the day!  Now is the time!”  I knew exactly what he meant!  Today IS the day and now IS the time… to make a difference….to be there for others, to smile at someone who’s lonely, to love the unlovable, to make it right with anyone we’ve offended, to love our siblings, to kiss our husbands and snuggle our kids or grandkids!

Back when I learned that lesson, I honestly couldn’t look ahead without freaking out, so living NOW was a necessity for my survival.  But, now…today… it’s just as important to continue to live it!

Why?

Because it’s really all we have….we only have TODAY!